10 Things A Single Friend Wants To Say To Their Married Friends

To watch your friends get married is amazing but to watch your married friends rub their marriage in your face when you are not even anywhere close to getting married.

1.) Marriage was your choice and being single is mine.

You had a beautiful wedding and we hope you have a beautiful life together too and meanwhile I also hope that you wish me all the happiness in my singlehood.

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2.) Jokes on loner life.

See buddy the internet might make memes on zero dating life and loner hashtags but everybody knows the age-old marriage jokes that were present even before the internet was born so do not tempt us to start with Shakespearean cuckoldry jokes, comprende?

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3.) Stop looking at the calendar so much.

Yes, you got married, yes it has been a month. Yes exactly after 30 days and after next 30 days it will be two, it is maths son, the numbers are going to keep on adding, months will fade, years will change and you gotta calm the fuck down about your every second day anniversary, Okay?

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4.) Stop asking me about my plans.

Do not ask me about my future plans unless you plan on surprising me with a paid vacation to Bali or somewhere like that from your side. Just because you tied the knot does not mean that everybody else should start the same.

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5.) Regarding the wedding album.

See we made a unique hashtag for you and spammed ourInstagramm with your faces and celebrations but if you are going to keep on posting your wedding photos every single day, we will have to unfollow you.DeepVeer were getting paid to spam with their wedding photos, tujhe kya mil raha hai?

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6.) You are in love with your partner and I just like them.

Obviously, you would not want your friend to be in love with your spouse and can settle for some mutual liking and which should be it so stop bringing them everywhere you go. Maintain some friendzone with your friends.

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7.) Talk about marriage things all the time.

Listen dude we are happy that you are happy but have no interest in knowing the story behind the collage frame that stands above your bed that you guys made together. Period.

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8.) Act like the sun and earth.

You might want to give your self esteem something to feel better about and tell yourself that your match was made in heaven, you are one body and two souls. First of all, have you seen the sky lately? Do you think anything such as heaven with so much pollution can conjure anything? If it could, vaccum cleaning would be foremost and anything else later so stop pretending that you two cannot stay apart at all, even for a ladies night out.

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9.) Do not lose your individuality.

If you made so far in life without being a coke addict or a pimp r a serial killer then you have something about you that some people like so do not lose that touch of yours just to be all marriage-yy all the time.

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10.) Put your ego down and keep an open mind when we tell you this.

Chances are you think everybody in the world is jealous of you now because you are married and others are not. Well we are telling you all this because even we love you, second check statistics, every day thousands get married and third you are much more closer to diaper changing than we are, so see for yourself now.

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Still, I am happy for you, and for me aswell!