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Date: 2019-11-26 14:19:29
Yes, it would be awkward. The things that we sacrificed were:
1. Short pajamas, shorts, skirts. All I could wear was long, loose pajamas and big size tees. Though there is no chance but if at all these clothes turn DH on, inform him to wait till everybody sleeps ;)
2. It would be too awkward to close the doors. Forget about sex, even if you want to have a cuddly hug or a kiss or naughty talks, you can't do it. You go to your bedroom, close the door for a minute, it may offend them, depending how understanding they are.
I live in a joint family which has 9 bedrooms and no, people just don't sneak into your room or some sort of things like that. My wife wears shorts all the time, we indulge in hugs and kisses every single day, we watch a movie every weekend, we go on trips, hell, she even shows her bikini clad photos to the family.
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It is not awkward to have sex inside your room while your parents and family is out. But it is, when you do have sex and you don't have attached bathroom to wash it off. Make sure that when you do get married, you select a room with attached bathroom. This is something I did when I got married. Noise is common, no matter how much you control, she will not be able to control ;). And most Indians will stand right next to your door to listen for signs, ignore them. When you feel someone is outside, stop and start again when they are gone :), eventually your packets are gonna get caught, either in the first month or maybe later.
Yes, your intimacy suffers. You cannot be as close to your spouse. Intimacy isn't just sex, it's also about cuddling, small pecks, hugging, etc. And these other things matter a lot, especially for women. Plus, you cannot sit in the bedroom with doors and windows closed when the family is home and awake. Even after lights out, you cannot explore your sexuality fully as there's a possibility of some noise. You end up doing the necessary stuff quietly and go off to sleep.
The solution to this is taking weekend trips to nearby places or sending the family to overnight picnics.
As for sex at night, we both in fact found it to be a fun activity....because you had to do it secretively, with no noise but still have the fun...the fun in doing this with restrictions is way more than what you would when you dont have any.
- We were also lucky that my wife and her elder sister are the only kids my in-laws have. They both being retired would keep traveling often, so our new adda would also be our in-laws place where we could camp for week or two...that periodically also reset things for us.
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To be more comfortable with your own situation plan for intimacy during lean periods in your house when the family members are engaged in other activities (outdoor or indoor). Generate opportunites for them to be engaged in activities temple visits, movies, shopping, visits to relatives, etc.. Prepare a routine for you and your partner for eg. 9.30 pm to 7.00 am is in room time. Advertise the same to your family members they will understand.
In homes with multiple rooms, couples do it in the dead of the night when other is fast asleep (or at least the couple assumes that everyone must be sleeping). Yes, someone may wake up for a glass of water and may hear what is happening. But elders just ignore it. Young may be curious and may ask you next day about the strange sound they heard. You can tell them stories.
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I got married in a joint family with 10 members. It was a love marriage (Love Ke Liye Saala Kuchh Bhi Karega). We had a room of our own and it was a big house but I would say the walls were quite thin. It was not possible to speak to each other in a loud voice at night or to giggle on something romantic without letting others enjoy or smirk.
I live in a joint family which has 9 bedrooms and no, people just don't sneak into your room or some sort of things like that. My wife wears shorts all the time, we indulge in hugs and kisses every single day, we watch a movie every weekend, we go on trips, hell, she even shows her bikini clad photos to the family.
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