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Marry someone when you feel like you are ready; don't go with the flow of family pressure or relatives taunts. If you wish to accomplish some tasks before getting married, do that. If you love someone and have not told your parents, do that but don't marry until you are clear about your thoughts. It really doesn't matter about the numbers, but what it really matters is whether you are completely ready or not.
Sometimes its lonely, sometimes I cry to sleep, sometimes are harder to just get by, sometimes are scary, sometimes I just want a friend, sometimes I want sex, sometimes a lot of it, sometimes I don't, but other times I'm happy, other times I'm grateful to have this life, other times its such a beautiful world and it makes no sense to remain unhappy just because I am single. But over the time, I've realized that I do need a partner in life - a friend mostly, but hey sex is good too if its part of the deal, and if that sort of partner is hard to find, then just cherish what's on hand - like watching a sunrise or sunset, reading a good book, popping bubble wraps needless to say and masturbating to some good porn.
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I feel free, independent, empowered that I can pay my own bills, take care of my mother, pamper my loved ones the way I want. I feel it is a blessing when you do not have to depend on anyone for anything. I do not have to marry a rich guy to have my abroad trips (I am sure everyone has come across one such sample in their life, sorry I do not mean to hurt them but for me marriage has never been an achievement) I am blessed that I have few like minded people with me who appreciate my thought process, supports my idea supporting him and make my life exciting everyday.
At the end, I feel being unmarried at 30 is a bumpy ride with lot of happiness from self accomplishments and tearful conversations.
I have been approached by guys for marriage. Their expectations were that I should be like their mothers. Quiet, obedient, not having my opinion or say in anything, work my job and work at home as well, no complaints. I should give up my dreams. I should turn into a homely, family oriented girl, but earning.
Problem is, I am not! I am career driven. Girls like me, have seen the struggles women of the previous generation. We do not wish to live like that and people need to understand this. We demand our space. We want our privacy to be respected. We are vocal about everything. We have been through our own struggles and we stand strong! We don't seek support. We don't seek dependence.
The relatives are the deadliest people for you when you are of this age and unmarried! They have their eyes on you better than a CCTV camera itself! They always keep asking your parents about you and why aren't you getting married and that get's your parents frustrated and angry with you for no reason.
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I am in the same phase of life as all of you; the only difference being I am enjoying my life thoroughly.
Yes, I have been rejected by over 300 Indian men on popular indian matrimonial sites in the past 2-3 years after I started my school. I have been to dozens of dates to meet Indian men who were disappointing or lost their curiosity for life as they aged. Yes , my parents and relatives lost hope in me and probably assume I will end up as spinster. Beyond all this nonsense, that one thing that keeps me going is my absolute passion for what I do. I get up everyday in my life thinking -I have 16 hrs in a day all for myself. I started meeting men from other countries. Life is not what you are born with ;It is what you create for yourself and nothing else matters.
Life is great. I am 28 and life is as amazing as it was 8 years back. I am a designer and run an interior accessories design and production studio in Delhi.
Work is going well, days are busy with amazing projects like I always wanted. My parents are super cool, no pressure of anything whatsoever. They know and believe I can take decisions for my own life. The reason I am financially independent has taken all their worries away. They have seen me working and are aware of its importance for me. They also know how life changes after marriage, especially for a girl so they are fine with it.
It's not that they have never talked about marriage but whenever they did I didn't shy away or got tensed or pressurized. I told them what my plans are and they understood.
So, life of this unmarried female is good and still going strong.
The life is good I go to gym in the morning where I run everyday for 40 minutes in treadmill and then start my day... My office is like 12 hours.. and when I reach home.. I watch Netflix order food online and never cook because I hate cooking. And like that is my normal routine.. I can travel anywhere in the world.. I can afford many luxury things and life is good financially and don't have to think twice before spending.
My family is not pressuring me to get married they are telling marriage proposals but not forcing me to settle down.. and don't bring the topic every time because now after all the efforts they know that it irritates me.
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Before 30 I was worried about finding love of my life, After 30 I am enlightened that I am in love with the idea of love, just the object of my love keeps changing.
When I eat i concentrate on food, when I am in the theater i merge into the story, when i am shopping i am into selecting clothes, when I am traveling I see the codependency of nature, It was the same when I had partner(s). So nothing is missed in absence of husband. The only con is the relative, Oh I don't care about them. But they tend to make my mother feel that she is not fulfilling her so called parental responsibility.
I missed on my love story. I missed on my lust story. Reason is my conscience running me over.
Now I am a 28 year old virgin whose has lost interest in sex. I no longer yearn for a love story. Something is dead in me. I hate myself for not taking charge of my life. I feel stupid for letting others rule my life.
Now life is all about how my parents and relatives are doing me a favour by finding a groom for me, arranging for my dahej. I am petrified of meeting those potential grooms who are looking for a package - not a human being. Men who want a beautiful, obedient, virgin, earning well, educated girl who will bear kids, look after the house.
I was a girl who grew up on Kuch kuch hota hai, Dil to pagal hai type of movies. I believed I will have a beautiful love story. There will be magic when I find him. I did not find him.
I am 31 years old and single, though there is a lot of pressure on my parents but they want me to live life on my own terms. We live in Delhi but still every friend every relative now and then asks same question that when I am getting married. When I go for interviews I'm asked about my future plans and sometimes on that basis I'm not selected, as employers believe I might be getting married soon and it can happen anywhere outside India or any other state so they don't want to take risk of hiring me in vulnerability. My friends post pics of their children whereas I plan where to travel. It's just due to my parents, I'm strong willed and want to marry when my heart and mind says so, otherwise the society pressure is so much that I can understand why some people marry in haste or frustration. But life is my decision, should be mine and here it's very difficult to be single but time is changing, will take some more decades to change at least in metro cities. Small cities and towns will take much much longer time to change and accept single women in society.
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©To Clap2Ram Media (TabloidXO™)
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